Yesterday morning, someone threatened to behead me, light me on fire and bury me in a mass grave with the rest of my kin, but after deliberating over it carefully, Facebook has determined that the messages he sent me do not violate community standards.

Luckily, before Facebook could give me that outrageous response, I had already contacted state and federal authorities and forwarded his messages to a number of my friends.

Obviously, either Facebook isn’t doing its homework or it is aiding and abetting terrorists. I intend to find out which.